Whenever people attempt to describe James*, what usually comes out first is "He is the alcoholic."
I was warned about James when I first arrived at Alta Woods. "He is unstable. Be cautious. He is usually drunk. He can be mean and belligerent."
So I stayed cautious, letting the pastors answer the door, and gradually getting to be more comfortable with this man. As his relationship grew with the pastors and very slowly with me, we began to see the "real" James...a funny, light-hearted, jolly James. Though we loved getting to spend rare time with the real James, it made it even harder for me to know him at all. How did he end up here? What happened in his life that was so terrible that triggered him to numb himself everyday with alcohol to the point where he couldn't hold a job, lost his home, car, all belongings and now lives in a tent? We know bits and pieces of his life, but like I said before, we will never know the real story.
Several months ago I did not think I would ever speak to James again after a frightening incident. He had found his way to the church on a Wednesday evening because he knew our doors would be open and we would have a meal there. Night seems to be his worst, alcoholically speaking, and his red eyes and whiskey-drenched breath let us know he was very unaware of his actions. After he belted "How Great Thou Art" at the top of his lungs during our service opening, I tried not to laugh but the ladies of the church were not amused. We headed into the church office with the pastors after the service, and I turned around to see James, drunk and bleary eyed, stumbling quickly towards me, and was suddenly too close for comfort. He meant no harm, but it scared me so badly that I resulted to not seeing him or talking to him for several weeks. James asked the pastors why he couldn't see or talk to me, and he didn't even remember the evening.
Each week (sometimes each day) I would receive elaborate bouquets of freshly picked crepe myrtles, different leaves, wildflowers and small pink blooms that he would send to me through one of the pastors. Why do men think flowers will fix everything? Perhaps because of the thought that he new he needed forgiveness and he was doing everything he could do and afford to let me know that he was sorry.
Even though we have since then become friends again, I still receive flowers (equipped with small spiders that find their way down to my desk) and today even received a teddy bear that he had found and a magnolia leaf that he thought smelled nice.
*name changed to protect privacy
